The last post that Joe did sparked a lot of dialogue. This is some of it. You can also refer to either of our facebook pages to see more comments

 Apparently this level of intimacy in the bedroom can be super confronting for men in particular.Joe's post sparked a frenzy of comments and I was so surprised at how his vulnerable share of his being confronted with facing his identity around sex and this research really forcing him to take a tough look at notions he had always had in the area of sex, seemed to resonate for a lot of men.  I know that this has been a really tough spot for me too, mostly because it is really hard for me to not just feel and believe he is not attracted to me or doesn't desire me.  I bet this is a common barrier for men and women relating in intimate relationships.  Here are some of the responses I made to questions or comments from others  in this post.  Please feel free to check out our FB pages for the full transcripts. 


"This is the hardest piece for me to wrap my brain around because my mind always wants to believe that I am not compelling enough for you to desire me. I know you have tried in so many ways to help me understand and this post helps. Perhaps I will read it everyday. You are the face of all my angels and demons alike and it is probably the hardest position for anyone to hold for someone. I love you."




" Joe Carr an I are actually currently monogamous. It is part of our research right now. So far, the intimacy from monogamy with someone who truly sees me has been far more complicated than I ever dreamed open relationships could be. I am not advocating either way, just noticing how confronting and challenging monogamy has been for us in this dynamic of both of us not having been in an exclusive relationship with anyone for quite some time. The first part of the research was open and we found that we could both run and hide in others. Not having that to go to has been, well there are not words to adequately describe how revealing this aspect has been for me in both directions. Its not just challenging, it's excruciating and truly forcing me to give up my games. I have no one to run to to escape my feelings and so I must face them with myself and he is there, seeing me there too, because I have committed to not running from him either. I feel like I trapped myself, but that is exactly what needs to happen to face those very dark parts of myself. It is a constant practice of surrender!"