comment about havingness level

In my experience, it is actually more confronting for me to sit with the sensation of having the things that I want than it is to not have them. We call this our havingness level, the desires we allow ourselves to have before conditioning or programming or limitations step up and stop whatever we actually want from materializing in our lives. The practice of Orgasmic Meditation is desire based. It uses our desires to propel us into our own transformation and growth. We use this to go to our next level and then the next and the next one, each time we are expanding our havingness and having more of the life we want and knew somewhere deep inside was possible. My partner's love for me expands my havingness! It constantly challenges my unconscious and underlying belief that I am not lovable. It is one reason that we are good partners for our own wake up. When he gets past my defenses, I feel cracked open, seen, exposed, confronted, raw, loved. Those are all the voices of my ego and the doubts about myself that keep me from remembering who I really am and living from that place! 
We say in this practice "remember to remember". This can mean a lot of different things, but to me it is remembering the power of who we are at the core of our being and soul and not getting rocked with the waves of life!