my 3rd post, Hot!

Yesterday, I surrendered in my oms, maybe even for the first time! My day was very much in the down. I was feeling a lot, stretching to new places that felt really uncomfortable with this relationship research especially. Oming was a welcome release for me. I remember my coach, Deborah Petrille asking me in one of our sessions what it felt like in my oms when I surrendered and to hold that place as a template for surrender in my life. I remember thinking “I don’t know if I ever have surrendered in my oms!” I set a loose and welcome intention to just let go and allow whatever comes up to come up and feel it fully. I came out of the oms on another planet! I was high as a kite on energy in a way that I haven't been in awhile. It was a very expanded place. I am not typically someone who finds touch and physical contact an easy place to maneuver. I think it is mostly because it means so much that I have often put conditions on it. After these oms, I could feel everything around me. People would brush past me and I could feel my system go toward it in a way that I never have before, craving to be touched! It felt amazing to let that in and even go after it that was so new to me. I was in approval of my desires.

I asked Joseph Carr for a brief makeout , trying to ground myself mostly, but not to discount the almost overwhelming desires I have for our connection. He said yes, but that he couldn’t do it right now and had to take care of a few things and would get back to me in a short while. I agreed and came back to him in a little while. He avoids staying in the intimate spot with me and has asked me to be aware when he unconsciously resists. I went to him again and asked. He still wasn’t quite ready. I couldn’t tell if he was avoiding it with busyness, but I knew what I wanted and if it had to be with someone else, then I would. I asked him if he would like me to ask someone else and he said that I could do that and he still was a yes to our makeout. I waited a little while longer and then asked someone else. This man said he was a yes and wanted to ask the person he was working with if his responsibilities were handled so that he could do this. He happened to go ask right in front of Joseph. Apparently this had an impact on Joseph because he swooped in right afterward and said “now you knew that would get me over to you!" He came to me with fierce, deliberate, intention that was so HOT!! We had the most intense makeout! My whole system felt incredible. There was a buzzing through my whole body! It was the most amazing connection. I can still feel it when my mind goes back to it. The pressure against my back as he pulled me in, the heat in my genitals and the electricity throughout my body! WOW!