Joe's post about our text exchange

Recent text exchange with Keri Denheeten and I that I think demonstrates the challenges and benefits of our research:

Keri: I don't want to love you anymore

I want you to know I plan to stop when this is over

When do you leave for the rest of our research?

Can I borrow your charger when I get to the house today? I forgot mine.

I'm sorry. I am sad and hurt and want to disconnect

Joe: You funny

Keri: I have a story that you don't feel me and love me as much as I do you and therefore don't want me or to be with me, when you choose to be with other women over spending time with me it confirms my story in my mind and I get hurt

Joe: Thank you
Wanna flip it?

Keri: Yes

Joe: What's the opposite?

Keri: That you love me and feel me too much to want to be with me
That makes no sense

Joe: You forgot to flip part of it!

Keri: Just give it to me, what that you love and feel me more than than I love and feel you and therefore want to spend more time with me than other women?

Joe: YES!!!
You nailed it

Keri: But you don't

Joe: I do!

Keri: Ok it is possible that you love and feel me more than I love and feel you, but you still choose to be with other women over spending time with me

Joe: I also choose to spend time with you over spending time with other women.

Keri: Do you?

Joe: And I don't think either of us loves the other more than the other. It doesn't work that way
What woman am I putting most of my time and attention on rght now?

Keri: Well, I recognize that I am getting more of your time and attention than any other singular woman right now and that in comparison to the collective of other women, I'm not sure because I don't know where you are most of the time,
But I know you have opportunities to spend with me and choose to spend them elsewhere

I would be equally put off if it were the other way, I guess.

Apparently, I enjoy making loving you a miserable thing

Thank you for staying with me here. I love you. I'm just letting myself feel it more today since I stopped myself from feeling it over the last couple of days. So because I feel more of my love for you today, I want to spend time with you and get sad about not being able to. I am sad that you are leaving and feel a scarcity of time coming up