Thursday, April 9, 2015

Joe's original post about our relationship research

Relationship Research. For the next 30 days, Keri Denheeten is my girlfriend. Like all research, we have both entered into this experiment to learn something. We certainly like each other a lot, but neither of us was particularly looking for a parter with a label. But when our very brilliant (and sadistic) friend suggested it we both realized that we had a lot we could learn from each other.
I want to learn how to keep a woman in my ambient attention who I'm not obsessed with. Intentionally. Consciously. Consistently considering the impact of my actions on her and keeping my system open to feeling her wherever she's at, and wherever I'm at.
I also want to learn how to let a woman love me who I don't feel like I have to chase or who I don't feel like I have to chase away. Keri is one of the most attentive, loving. affectionate women I know, and I can have her. It's amazing how resistant I am to letting myself love a woman who I fully want AND can actually have.
The first few days have felt really amazing. The rich, sweet intimacy between us is so filling and nourishing. The kisses and touch and sex is way different than before. Much deeper and more connected.
I know that we're in the honeymoon stage and we will start to get irritated with each other soon. And then the real research will begin! Then I'll get to practice handling a strong powerful woman when she's turned off, irritable, or mad at me. And discover more ways to ask for what I want clearly and lovingly in a way that she can hear and keeps us connected.
I am so grateful to have a player of her skill level willing to be in this game with me. And for such an amazing community of people willing and able to support us and challenge us and tell us the consistent loving truth. And for the orgasmic meditation practice which helps me lean into discomfort, hold more sensation, and fully feel everything that comes up.
I'll keep you all posted on what happens!

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